


After the Hodda Case

by clowchan



Series: In the Key of Barisi [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Gen, M/M, Pre-Barisi, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clowchan/pseuds/clowchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rafael Barba deals with his feelings about a certain someone</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right after "Depravity Standard".  
> Also I tried to make it sort of realistic as I could!

The Hodda case really did a number on Rafael the next day. More than he wanted to admit. He truly thought he had this case won. How could the jurors not agree unanimously that Hodda was a grotesque human being who should be placed behind bars? For life. Forever. He heads to his office. Grabbing his bottle of whiskey and a glass.  Goddamn Hassler. She truly was her father's daughter. Fantastic. She would make an excellent prosecutor. Why work for scum like that? He guesses, " _A job's a job._ " He slowly sips his drink. That first burn always took the edge off. Even ever so slightly. How he wished this was all a dream and he could wake up and Hodda would be in jail.

A knock on the door breaks his train of thought.

" _What?_ " Rafael says in an annoyed manner.  He wanted to be left alone.

" _Counsellor?_ " That familiar voice that he wishes wasn't familiar.  Carisi peeks his head in. It was Carisi. Of all people he did not want to deal with. He didn't want to be teacher today. " _A moment?_ "

A moment he says. Rafael smirks. A moment usually meant 5 minutes. This Staten Island kid is going to talk his ear off. Again. He wishes he could say, " _Wikipedia that or google it_." Instead, he lets him in. Might as well amuse himself.  He looks up from his desk and answers, " _Sure._ "

Carisi strides in, hands already in gesture mode, despite him carrying what looked like school work. " _I really thought you had this case_." Here he goes rattling off facts Rafael already knew.

" _Yeah, thought so too_ ,” he downs the rest of the drink. Perhaps if he downed the whole bottle he would be able to stand him a tiny bit more. May the drunken gods of yore bless him with said patience for this.

Carisi leans against the table, placing a huge binder down. “ _Olivia told me Mrs. Rodriquez and the other woman would be glad to testify. That's good news, right?_ ”

" _In a way, yes, Carisi_ ," Rafael sighs. Honestly, the Hodda case drained him and he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Why doesn't he say something?

" _I know next time when he goes to a retrial you're gonna knock it outta the park like Babe Ruth_ ," Carisi says with a confident smile. Admittedly, that smile made him feel slightly better and did enjoy being praised, but how he wish he could pay him to not say anymore cheesy sports analogies.

" _Shouldn't you be at the hospital?_ " Rafael asks purposely to change the subject.

Carisi was not ready for that question. " _I ... was. Rollins is having complications and they kicked us out_. “He nervously plays with the bottom button of his jacket. “ _Olivia's there_." He checks his phone for a moment.

" _Complications? Is she and the baby ok?_ "

“ _I don't know. Something about deceleration and Amanda saying something's wrong with her back_." He rubs his thumb into his palm for a moment, giving Rafael a concerned look.

Rafael doesn't say anything, but his face read " _that's not good_ ". Even he knew how much families meant to Carisi.

" _I could have stayed and maybe I should have in the waiting room_." He rubs the back of his head, speaking rather fast, " _But I left.  I'm scared and I wanted to see you. I figured learning more about law from you would take my mind off things._ "

Rafael could tell he was nervous then his eyebrows lifted for a second. Did he just say he needed to see him because he was scared? He felt like some sort of babysitter. He did not sign up for that. Part of him wanted to send Carisi back and the other part told him to let him stay. He's never seen Carisi this scared before. Deciding against his better judgement, he lets him stay. He hoped he wouldn't regret that decision. He walks over to his desk and pulls out another glass " _Here._ " He pours him a drink.

" _Are you -_ "

" _Sure? Yes, now drink_. " Perhaps teaching Carisi more about attorney procedures would take the edge off of things. “ _We both have a lot to worry about_."

Carisi takes a drink. There was a slight unease in his face. Rafael could tell he wasn't much of a liquor drinker. He takes another drink and he relaxes more, " _A lot is an understatement_." Rafael hated to admit how honest he was. Yet, he was glad he wasn't hard to read either. Carisi wore his emotions on his sleeve, complete opposite of him.  His phone buzzes on the table.  " _Excuse me, Counsellor_ " He gets up, leaves the room for a moment and then comes back. " _Ama - Rollins had her baby. A girl. But she's in the NICU_ " Carisi's voice trembles somewhat. " _We should go and see her_."

" _We?_ "

A faint blush appears on the younger man's cheeks, " _I mean -I-, but if you'd like to join me. You know you're part of the squad too. We need to support her_." Carisi always spoke too fast when he was nervous. Wait, why did Rafael even notice that? Why did he notice anything about Carisi? He's been tutoring him too long. " _God knows her own family won't_." Carisi covers his mouth quickly. " _Promise you won't tell Rollins I said that?_ "

" _I won't_ ," Rafael places some files on his desk. A part of him did not want to go. Spending more time with Carisi especially at the hospital was not exactly what he considered fun. The other part said " _you need to_ ". Going against his better judgement, he decided to go. He figures this will further help mend his friendship between himself and Liv. Perhaps a selfish move, but he really needed the brownie points. " _I'll go._ "

Carisi flashes a quick smile before calming down, " _I know you're busy and all and I don't want to force you into-_ "

" _It's fine, Detective. Don't make me regret this,_ " Barba rolls his eyes as he throws on his outer jacket.

" _I promise you won't._ " There was that eagerness in Carisi’s voice again as he gets his coat on.

" _Let’s go._ "

 

* * *

 

They hail a cab, head to the hospital, and go up to Amanda’s room. They see Olivia standing outside her door.

" _How is she, Lieutenant?_ " Carisi's voice shakes.

" _What I told you is as much as I know. For right now she's resting,_ " Olivia looks up and sees Rafael with him. " _Hey._ "

He replies softly, " _Hello, Liv._ "

" _Poor Amanda,_ " Carisi rubs his hands together.

" _She's tough_ ," Olivia looks at him. " _You know this_."

Rafael stands there silently as Carisi and Olivia talk about the well-being of their co-worker. He felt fairly uncomfortable there. Hospitals in general made him feel uneasy. All the weird smells, combined with sick people made his skin crawl. Plus he didn't know Rollins as well as her co-workers did. He's only seen her a few times at SVU dinner parties and he could count on two hands the amount of times he spoke to her alone about cases. On a personal level, he felt foreign. Why did he come? Oh, that's right. Carisi practically begged him to. OK being slightly dramatic, but that sad puppy dog face made him go so that was still begging he concluded.

" _Earth to Rafael_ ," Olivia was in his face. How long was he spaced out for?

" _Wh-hey, what's going on?_ "

" _Amanda's up and we can see her_."

" _That's good_."

They all walk in. As groggy as Rollins was, she was shocked to see Rafael there. He thought he should leave now and just mull over the Hodda case. " _Counsellor? Nice to see you_." Her voice was slightly weak, but it was warm. He'll stay.

" _I have to ask, but how's the kid?_ " There goes Carisi being too blunt again. It was as if he had no filter. Rafael just shook his head.

" _Carisi!_ " Liv shot him a disapproving glance.

" _It's fine._ " Rollins waved a hand, " _For a moment she decided to give mommy a scare and make her entrance in the world complicated. She's in the NICU for observation._ " Her frown turns to a smile, " _But other than that perfectly healthy. And huge._ " Her eyes went wide and she blew out her cheeks for a second.

" _Your belly was...._ " Carisi makes a gesture with his arms like he was holding a huge ball.

Both Rafael and Olivia side eye him, however Rollins laughs it off, " _You could say I was planet Amanda_. " She says softly, " _And I'm lucky I have y'all as family_."  She teases before looking rather serious, " _and I'd rather have it that way_."

" _She can call me Uncle Sonny,_ " Carisi beams with pride. Rafael had to force himself not to smile when he saw Carisi's.

" _She will_ ,” she yawns with a smile. " _I can't wait to see her. Have to wait till I'm not completely numb_." She looks at everybody, " _I can't thank you enough for coming. You guys should get something to eat. The café might have something? It's gonna take a while for me to get on my feet_."

Because he was in a hospital, he wasn't too particularly hungry, but he could really go for some coffee. “ _I might grab something to drink_.”

“ _I’ll go with you, Counsellor._ ” Carisi looks at Rafael before turning to Rollins, “ _You want anything_?” Carisi points with his right hand, using his pointer and pinkie fingers at her. Rafael was planning on going alone, but here goes Carisi volunteering himself to be his buddy. He mumbles under his breath, a little annoyed.

She shakes her head, “ _I would love to, but can't. Thanks, Sonny. I'm just gonna rest_.”

“ _Not a prob! Wanna join us, Lieutenant?_ ” Carisi smiles.

“ _No, I'll stay. Already ate. You two have fun_ ,” she gives Rafael a smirk and he gives her a "how could you" look to which she replies with a shrug.

" _Dammit, Liv_ ," Rafael thinks to himself. " _My only saving grace._ " He follows Carisi out to the café. When they reach it, he goes straight to the coffee like a moth to a flame. Then he spots a couple sticky notes on the giant carafes.  Out? How could a hospital be out of coffee? Another note explains they're cleaning the pots. Perfect, just perfect.

Carisi walks over to him, “ _Something wrong?_ ” He sees what Rafael is sulking at, almost looking defeated. “Weird.” He smiles that goofy grin, " _I tell you what. I know this fantastic place. Some of the best Italian food you'll ever eat. Great cannolis too._ " His hands gesturing all over the place like usual. " _Come on, Counsellor. My treat._ “

Of course, now, Rafael was a bit peckish and his hunger was starting to take over his brain. He heard "food" and his stomach went into growling overdrive. He crosses his arms, drawing them into himself in hopes to stifle the sound. He prayed that Carisi didn't hear it. He hated to admit that Italian sounded way better than the grossly overpriced tiny sandwiches that didn't look too appetizing in the first place.  He blurted out, " _I would like that_." There goes Carisi grinning like a fool. He despised himself for thinking it was _adorable_. " _What am I? 12? In middle school?_ " Another self-argument erupted in his brain.

Carisi's voice breaks his thoughts, " _Great!_ "


	2. Chapter 2

The restaurant truly was a hole-in-a-wall, but as they stepped near the door, he could smell the food.  How it beckoned him. Carisi grabs the door and holds it open for him. Who knew such a gentleman was hiding under that brash Staten Island exterior?

“Hey _Sonny!_ " A man behind the counter shouts. He was just as loud and boisterous as Carisi.

“ _Hey Bobby!_ "

Rafael wondered if they were going to chase it with a " _Bada bing bada boom_ ". He chuckled quietly at the thought as they grabbed a seat and looked at the menus.

" _Get anything you want. I got it_." Rafael could tell Carisi was showing off, kind of annoying, but no big deal to voice disapproval of it.

" _Alright,_ " he peers at the menu. Why did this feel like a date? And why was his godforsaken mind thinking any of this? Just two co-workers eating lunch. And then his mind kept thinking about how Carisi's been dressing nicer and how well he’s been paying attention to his tutor sessions and how his pants complimented his ...no stop that. No time for that. He shakes his head.

" _Something wrong?_ " Carisi gives him an inquisitive look.

" _I'm fine_." He looks over the menu. Lasagna, calzones, parmigiana, strombolis, etc. He didn't know what to choose, despite being very hungry. He looks at Carisi who was shouting over to Bobby, " _Can I get the usual? Also extra garlic knots!_ " 

" _On it, Sonny!_ "

" _What ..._ " Rafael's voice hesitates for a moment. " _What would you recommend from here?_ "

Carisi smiles like he’s been waiting for him to ask for a while. " _Everything. Just kidding. Although not really_." He laughs faintly, rubbing his chin, blue eyes looking up at the ceiling. Rafael cocks his head slightly. He was pretending Carisi was creating a math formula the way he was looking and how entertained he was with that thought. " _I got it. You like meat, yeah?_ "

" _Ye-_ "

" _Yo, Bob. The meat special calzone._ "

" _-s_." Rafael sighs as Bobby responds with a “YEP!"  He did sign himself up for this. He had himself to blame.

" _I promise you Counsellor, you're gonna judge every calzone after this_."

" _I'm sure I will, Carisi,_ " he says dryly. He honestly didn't care. All he wanted was some sort of food in his stomach and he would be on his way.

 

* * *

 

40 minutes later. Rafael truly despised himself. Carisi wasn't lying. The food he ate was beyond fantastic and he was beyond full, almost to the point that he could barely fit in his vest. The latter part was Carisi's fault because he had to share part of his lasagna with him. And then he had to have desserts. Cannolis so good they were to die for. He wishes he was exaggerating. Other than coffee, food truly was Rafael's weakness. Did Carisi know this? Dammit. He probably did being a detective and all.  During their meal they spoke of their personal lives, families and such. It was a pretty decent conversation, even by Rafael's high standards. As they left, he complemented Bobby, Carisi held the door for him once more. How nice. They started to head right back to the hospital.  Rafael couldn't believe how much he was enjoying his company more, even his silly jokes and analogies. He cracked a couple smiles at them. Man, did he hate himself for that. Carisi would notice and gloat, patting his shoulder saying, " _You actually have a sense of humour, Counsellor_.”

Rafael gave a slight look of annoyance. Of course he has a sense of humour. He's not dead. The taller man was too busy to notice his look as he tells another joke and Rafael lets out a genuine laugh before quieting himself. Admittedly, for the past few days he was developing feelings for him, butterflies in his stomach and all. He had to keep this professional, so in his denial, he would be snarky, sometimes too much so, to Carisi. The reasoning part of his brain constantly told him there can't be feelings between co-workers or "students". There could be conflict with interest issues. And then it happened.  Rafael was tired of fighting and thought, “ _Screw the rules_.” He stopped for a moment, turns right in front of Carisi, and kisses him. Right on the lips. A little sloppy, even he knew he was better at this. He was nervous as hell, but he had to. He wanted to. He needed to. Carisi's eyes go wide, unsure of what's going on and after he finishes he looks flabbergasted. Rafael straightens himself out, not believing he did that. He simply turns back around and walks away, quickly. Why in the world did he do that? How awkward. He walked faster, almost in a near jog. And what if Carisi was with someone. Good job, Rafael. Keep it in your pants, Rafael.  He felt like he was back in middle school. So embarrassing.

Carisi catches up to him, " _Hey! You feel the same way too?_ " Rafael's cheeks were clearly flushed, but he doesn't look at him. " _It's ok! I've been wanting to friggin' kiss you the moment we left the hospital_."

Hold on. Rafael slows down to a near stop. Carisi wanted this? He wanted Rafael to kiss him? He couldn't believe his ears or his luck. No way. " _Come again?_ " Not moving his head, his eyes merely peer up at him.

" _I've been wanting to kiss you too. Just didn't know how. I'm surprised Couns_ -"

" _You can call me Barba_." He wasn't ready for Carisi to call him by his first name. Yet. He still was testing waters.

" _Barba_." Carisi smiles, looking a little disappointed. Rafael could tell he wanted to use his first name so badly.

" _And yes, I shocked myself_." Still blushing, he holds out a hand. Carisi notices and holds it. Perhaps not the traditional way of asking someone out, but Rafael has never been traditional in the first place. He notes how surprisingly soft Carisi's hand was as he squeezes it slightly. He felt so much better that he admitted what he felt towards him and the feeling was mutual.

 

* * *

 

They arrive at the hospital where they walk in separately and back up to Amanda's room.

Liv meets them, " _Where did you two go?_ "

" _Grabbed lunch at Bobby’s”_ Carisi smiles.

" _That's good.  Amanda’s up in the NICU seeing her daughter. Want to join me?_ "

" _Of course!_ " Carisi says enthusiastically and Rafael simply nods as they follow Liv to the NICU unit and enter. Amanda was cradling her newborn daughter.

In a whisper Carisi says, " _She's beautiful, Amanda_."

Amanda looks up, " _She certainly is. Everyone meet Luciana. Lucy for short_." Everyone greets the child with a quiet “ _hello_ ”.  She slightly rocks the child, " _She has to stay here for a couple days, but everything looks great according to the nurses_."

" _That's good to hear_ ," Olivia smiles.

They stay for a few more minutes and talking quietly to one another. Carisi told her how when she and the baby got home, he was going to throw her a welcome home party complete with homemade dinner and dessert. After a while it was time to go and they all said goodbye to Amanda and her daughter and head out of the hospital.

Liv looks at Rafael, “Do _you want to ride home with me or does Carisi need more help with his studies?_ ”

“ _More help. Unfortunately_.” He had to keep up this charade, but he could not wait to see him again. Still weird for him to admit.

“ _Be nice, Rafi. He's a good kid._ ” She laughs before she enters a cab. “ _See you tomorrow_.”

He waves to her before turning back around and quickly going back to Carisi who was busy talking on the phone.

“OK _Theresa, bye,_ " he hangs up. “ _Sorry family business, Raf_ -," he bites his lip. " _Barba._ "

" _Everything's good?_ "

" _Yeah, yeah.  It’s fine. Typical family stuff, ya know?_ ”

“ _I gotcha_.”

They grab a cab and head for Rafael's place. Rafael sits rather close to Carisi, holding his hand again, and Carisi leans in to gently kiss him, which he happily accepts. This time it wasn’t sloppy. The car stops, they get out, and as soon as Rafael tries to pay Carisi was already ahead of him. “ _Got it_.”

He would have been annoyed by this, but not this time. It was different. “ _Thanks._ ” Rafael leads him to his stairs. “ _For taking me home._ ”

Carisi gives a warm smile, “Y _ou're welcome_.” He looks at his watch. “ _Wish I could stay, but I have a couple of work related things I have to finish at home. And I have to turn in an assignment tonight_.”

“ _How responsible of you_ ,” Rafael teases as Carisi pulls him in for an embrace as they kissed each other slowly under the entryway. Rafael enjoyed how warm he was since the bitter cold November air was starting to creep up on him.  " _And now you can call me Rafael._ " He felt Carisi smile under his kiss. " _But only outside of work._ " He was stern as always, which Carisi didn't seem to mind or he assumed he didn’t. " _Let’s meet tomorrow. My place. At 7 PM. And don't be late_."

" _I won't. You can count on that,_ " Carisi giggles as he goes down the stairs. “ _And you can call me-_ “

“ _Sonny. Already on it_.” Rafael smirks as he enters his home.

And so their secret relationship begins....


End file.
